At the brink
by Fallenheart1989
Summary: Something Terrible has happened to Bella and she intends to end it all, can anyone get to her in time and how will they all react to what has happened will Edward ever forgive himself, will anyone. Mentions of rape and suicide
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this fic has mentions of rape and suicide so be warned, my other stories will get updates soon but having to redo them as my pc had to be reformatted hope you enjpoy.

Tears streamed down my face dripping onto my jeans as I sat with my legs crossed on the floor. The hole in my chest had grown each day since he left and now I wondered how I was still alive, _not for long_ a mental voice added. I had stayed because a small part of my mind thought he would come back but that part was dead now crushed two days ago. I wasn't pure anymore I wasn't anything. If by some miracle he came back he would know how dirty I am. Charlie was fishing thankfully, the note I had written explained why I couldn't stay, I had to explain I couldn't let him think it was Edwards fault, I had also written Edward and the Cullen's a letter but those were at their house I had slipped them in the mailbox unable to make it into the house. The spare gun my dad kept in his room was now in my hands I wondered how best to do it I didn't want to make a mess but slitting my wrists was to slow and there were no drugs in the house to take so that left the gun. It was time I looked at the clock I couldn't wait any longer it had to happen now. I placed the gun to the temple of my head and closed my eyes.

"Edward I'm sorry" my finger was about to push down when I heard a crash and the gun was thrown from my hands "NO!" I screamed the hole in my chest breaking open my eyes opened I ignored the figures in my room and saw the gun I went to reach for it when stony arms encased me. "No please I can't Please" I begged

"Shhh Bella I know… I know" I stopped struggling surprised at the voice by my ear the person restraining me but also comforting me her words having double meanings, she knew what had happened and she knew how it felt. I cried then and she managed to pull me closer allowing me to cling to her .

"Please Rosalie…" She knew what I was asking knew what I wanted she could do it a quick flick of her hand and I wouldn't know anything anymore.

"I am so sorry Bella I can't" my breathing hitched and I wept more someone had my arm I knew it was Carlisle because a second later there was a small prick and everything started to fade out but not like death.

Alice POV

I sat on the rock waiting for Jasper to finish hunting, to say life had changed was an understatement, Edward had said it would go back to the way it was before he pulled Bella swan into our lives, but just like he had fallen in love with her and it had changed him so had we all even Jasper who still four months later was consumed with the guilt of attacking who he saw as a little sister and then the subsequent leaving of the same person. We were all grieving for the loss and I cursed my brother for forcing the grief upon us. I had managed to keep my promise to Edward forcing any visions of Bella away not looking and as one approached I tried to force it back but this one refused to be. I gasped and Jasper was at my side a moment later.

"Alice" his voice full of concern as I was overcome with the vision he took me in his arms when I began to sob at the sight I saw and knew we could not stop because it was a vision that had already happened. Visions of the past happened rarely and only when it was something I absolutely needed to know I could tell this one took place yesterday evening because she walked past a shop with a t.v playing the evening use in the window. I watched as she pulled her keys from her pocket as she approached her rusty old truck and then in horror I saw as she was grabbed from behind and dragged into the ally way she had just passed. "Alice what's happening?" The vision continued in my mind but I managed to answer.

"It's Bella she's been raped." My tone was flat as shock set in when the two men were done I watched as she curled up in a ball on the floor and didn't move for what seemed like hours and then the vision ended "Jasper we need to go to her." I hadn't even realised he had picked me up and was running with in the direction of the house

"I know." He replied as he continued to run I stayed in his arms unsure if I could run the shock of what I had just seen made me wish I could sleep. I was sat down on a couch a few minutes later as Jasper called the others "It will ok Darlin' we'll help her." I nodded. Thankfully Carlisle and everyone else bar Edward was home as they all entered the living room.

"What's going on?" Rosalie said sounding bitter; she had been sharp with everyone since leaving forks disappointed that it hadn't gone back to the way things were before we knew Bella.

"I had a vision of Bella…" I said my voice barely above a whisper

"Alice you promised Edward…" Carlisle began Jasper growled as Carlisle chastised me .

"Let her finish." He ordered as he stood slightly in front of me.

"My apologies continue Alice" Carlisle said his face showing that he now understood this was a serious matter.

"It's already happened, it happened last night but I didn't see it till just now, I don't know why I didn't see it before maybe we could have got there in time…" I babbled I knew what I would say was going to break their hearts and bring up some painful memories for Rosalie.

"Just spit it out" Rosalie hissed earning a warning growl from Jasper.

"Bella was raped!" I cried out my head going in my hands

The next few moments were full of gasps hisses and growls as Emmet swore to track down the people responsible and give them a painful death the vision came and was nearly fully set in stone. He wasn't alone Jasper was with him and someone else although I couldn't see who because they had yet to make that decision.

"We have to go to her" We were all surprised at Rosalie and her soft words I looked up and saw her face a mixture of horror and sadness we all nodded in agreement. I gasped again as another vision came of Bella this time I welcomed it but it was a vision I wished I would never see.

"She's going to kill herself." I couldn't stop the words coming as I watched her with the gun

"When Alice?" Carlisle asked I focused and managed to see more

"Tomorrow evening, we should make it in time if we leave right now." Without another word we left the house leaving everything behind so we could go save Bella.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok i noticed a few mistakes in the last chapter which i will correct when i have time i wanted to give you chapter two because i have work and guests so it is unlikely i will get a update done before next week I will try. Ok so Rose is a bit OOC in this story we see a much more caring version but don't worry she won't be like that all the time. Also Jasper is going to be OOC as well. Also Edward will be punished for being a stubborn spoiled teenager although spoiler Edward and Bella will be together. I hope you enjoy.

Carlisle POV

We drove as fast as the cars would allow us we had considered running but Alice had told us that if we ran we would run into some nomads along the way and we would be delayed and that Bella would succeed in her attempt to die. I was driving my Mercedes grateful that Rosalie could make any car run faster Esme was in the seat next to me and Jasper was holding Alice in the back, I knew Alice only had visions of the past when it was information she absolutely needed to know and I knew why she had to see such a tragic moment after the fact it was so we would understand why Bella was doing what she was going to do. I mentally ticked off everything that I would need to examine Bella Alice had explained that Bella's intent to die meant she was ignoring her injuries but she couldn't be sure how bad it was.

"You'll need to sedate her Carlisle or she won't calm down enough and she will keep trying." Alice said grimly as she looked into the future I pressed the gas down as far as it would go and I prayed for the first time in a very long time. The sun was coming up and we were still sevral hours from forks driving. "I still see us reaching her" Alice added trying to soothe us all

"When we reach the house the men bar Carlisle stay outside" Rosalie ordered they were behind us in the jeep, we all agreed I felt for Rosalie I knew she didn't like Bella but I also knew she would never wish something like rape on her worst enemy.

"We'll help her" Esme was in shock and was muttering the same things over I gave her hand a squeeze and she returned it with a sad smile.

"Of course we will." And then the thought hit me who was going to tell Edward.

"Oh" Alice pulled out her phone and dialed.

Jasper POV

Alice had to keep calling it was nearly a full two hours when he actually answered

"What Alice!" he hissed and I suppressed a growl

"Edward it's Bella she needs us…" Alice was cut off by him growling

"Alice you promised me you promised you wouldn't look we have no right to interfere with her life now!" he shouted I took the phone from Alice I was so busy trying to keep everyone else calm I was having trouble with my own emotions.

"Listen up Edward" I put emphasis on his name "Firstly never speak to my wife in such a manner or so help me I will rip off one of your arms and beat you with it, secondly Bella was raped and now intends to end her life." There was silence Alice had intended to break it to hem gently but there was nothing gentle about the situation.

"Jasper how long I am on my way will I make it in time" I heard him curse himself for not answering his damn phone.

"No I replied but we will in fact we are nearly there." Alice held her hand out for the phone and I gave it to her.

"Listen Edward you need to call me before you come to the house, Bella won't react well if you just show up, If you run flat out you should reach us in a day and a half, and Edward you will need to hunt and change clothes before you see her."

"Alice…" his voice was pained but I could hear him running as the wind whipped by the phone

"We'll help her Edward." Alice repeated Esme's words the phone went dead and Alice sighed "He'll do as I say thankfully." She leaned back into me for a moment before she stiffened "no!"

"What?" everyone asked?

"Bella she's decided to end it sooner we won't make it unless one of us runs." Before another word was said Rosalie had jumped from the jeep and overtaken us through the forest we all looked to Alice for an answer. "She'll make it just" she added.

Rosalie POV

I was in shock it was the only way to describe what I was feeling part of me was in denial another begging that Alice had seen it wrong that it was someone else not Bella or that it hadn't happened yet and we could stop it. When I heard Alice say someone needed to run I didn't hesitate in jumping from the jeep next to Edward I was the next fastest tied with Jasper I knew it would only be minutes before they would arrive after me I was aware that Esme had also decided to run and was maybe a few seconds behind me, we reached the forks boundaries and sped through our destination set. I reached Bella's house and without hesitation I crashed through her bedroom window just in time for her to say sorry to Edward I pulled the gun from her hand and threw it across the room

"No!" she screamed launching herself towards the gun ignoring Esme who had now entered the room I wrapped my arms around her restraining her and trying to comfort her at the same time "No please I can't" She begged and my heart broke for her.

"Shh Bella I know… I know" I hoped she understood the meaning of it hoped that she grasped it and prayed that she would one day be able to talk to me so that I could help her. I pulled her closer to my body until I was cradling her and she was clasping my top with all her strength.

"Please Rosalie…" She cried tears streaming down her face her heart beating too fast. I knew what she wanted, she wanted me to kill her and I could with ease I could make it painless she wouldn't feel a thing, but I couldn't bring myself to do it so I denied her. Carlisle was the next in the room he tried to speak to Bella but got no response it looked like she hadn't even heard him. With a sorrowful look he knelt down took her arm and injected her with the sedative and she quickly went limp in my arms.

"Esme can you return the gun to Charlie's dresser third draw down at the very back" Alice said as she climbed in through the window "Charlie is fishing Emmet and jasper will fix the window." She walked over to the desk and picked up a piece of paper and put it in her jacket pocket I didn't need to ask what it was we all knew. "Drive to the house I will run ahead and set up what you will need in the spare room" Carlisle gave her a questioning look "If she wakes up in Edwards and he's not there she will freak and try and jump out the window." She said grimly before she hopped out the window. I carried Bella Down the stairs Jasper and Emmet were just passing through the front door with a pain of glass and some wood they both looked at Bella saddened.

"I'll look after our baby sister, don't worry." I was surprised at what I had called her and so were they but no one said anything more and we went to the car. I looked down at Bella as I held her in the back seat I had tried for so long to hate her, hate her for disturbing our lives hated her for her choices, but I was so busy trying to hate her I hadn't realised I actually loved her she was my sister and I had treated her so poorly I made a promise to make amends for that, at least I would try if she would let me.


	3. Chapter 3

Not to sure about this chapter its why its short hopefully next one will be easier to write enjoy.

I was running I don't know for how long it could have been days, weeks or even months all I knew was if I kept putting my feet one foot in front of the other I was keeping her safe. I cursed my Vampire mind able to think of so many things all at once I had hoped that if I just ran then I could somehow out run the pain but there was no hope the pain was simply too fast even for a vampire to outrun. My only solace Bella was safe, Safe the word brought me comfort helped me keep one foot in front of the other. I stopped to hunt every now and again when I was done I would sit on a rock up a tree or on the ground my senses automatically aware of any presence but the rest of my mind consumed. I felt a movement in my pocket the phone I always kept on me just in case I ignored it at first but it didn't stop so after what felt like a lifetime I stopped and answered the phone.

"What Alice" I hissed

"Edward it's Bella she needs us…" Alice said I growled cutting her off.

"Alice you promised me you promised you wouldn't look we have no right to interfere with her life now!" I heard a low growl and the phone being taken by someone else

"Listen up Edward" Jasper growled at me "Firstly never speak to my wife in such a manner or so help me I will rip off one of your arms and beat you with it, secondly Bella was raped and now intends to end her life." I froze as my entire world collapsed around me, thankfully being a Vampire I could work around my shock and keep going my feat had already turned me around.

"Jasper how long I am on my way will I make it in time" I asked before cursing myself for not answering the phone sooner how much time had I lost could I make it to her in time could I save her.

"No I replied but we will in fact we are nearly there." I was running already and almost faltered when he had said no but I kept running at least they were going to get there. The phone was once again passed to someone else.

"Listen Edward you need to call me before you come to the house, Bella won't react well if you just show up, If you run flat out you should reach us in a day and a half, and Edward you will need to hunt and change clothes before you see her." My heart dropped as the new information settled in one I wouldn't be able to see her for at least a day and a half and would have to wait longer, two if I ignored Alice I could possibly be forced to leave Bella alone because I scared her. My choice was made I could never scare Bella so I listened to Alice.

"Alice…" I groaned

"We'll help her Edward" with that I shut the phone.

Things were flying through my mind a thousand miles a minute one part was thinking only of Bella and getting to her seeing her helping her, another was thinking of all the things I would do to whoever hurt her. Another was wondering what I would say to Bella and how she could forgive me I was sure she would hate me and she had every right to, I pushed that thought aside and just ran I would face it all if she hated me I would still stand by her side I would never leave her again.

Bella POV

My body was heavy and I couldn't move…my mind was foggy and I couldn't quite recall what was going on. I heard voices and tried to listen carefully but only heard bits.

"She has a fractured wrist… tearing…there was…birth control…" the male said my mind tried to make sense of the words I was on the pill for control over period pain so that is probably what he meant by birth control. I didn't understand tearing, tearing of what, and a broken wrist how did I break my wrist. And then there was his voice it was familiar but I couldn't place it.

"she's starting to wake up." A female voice spoke

"Bella… Bella can you hear me?" When the male spoke my name things flooded back into my mind and I fought against the urge to wake up I wanted the darkness I wanted the peace. "Bella honey please open your eyes" Carlisle urged he had been the male speaking a cold hand took mine part of me wanted to pull away but a larger part wanted the comfort. It took a few more attempts of prompting but finally whatever drug had been in my system wore off and I opened my eyes slowly.

I was in a room that was pained a pale blue and I lay in the middle of a four poster bed the room was unfurnished apart from the bed and a table that had medical supplies on it. I looked around the room and sore each one of the Cullen's except him. Carlisle had my hand in his but he held it loosely so I could pull away my left hand was in a cast and I realised that must be the fractured wrist. Esme was beside him she gave me a sad smile, Alice was on my left side perched on the bed she looked as if she wanted to pounce on me what surprised me was the fact that Rosalie was also standing to my left closer than she had ever been before willingly. Jasper and Emmet were standing by the door as if they were waiting to be asked to leave they all seemed to be trying to comfort me without smothering me. My emotions were all over the place I wanted them to leave I wanted them to stay I was in pain I felt comforted it was all so confusing. I felt a strange wave of calm wash over me just as I was about to begin to Panic I looked up at Jasper grateful he nodded at me.

"We'll be just outside Bella" Jasper said dragging Emmet out the door, I relaxed somewhat Jasper seemed to be able to make more sense out of my emotions than I did.

Jasper POV

We stood outside the room as soon as we had left Bella subconsciously relaxed, she was confused and I couldn't blame her, her emotions were all over the place. I could tell she wanted space but didn't want us to leave she felt protected with all of us and I was glad. But she also felt crowded and she was going to begin to panic so with a quick word to the others I pulled Emmet out the room. Esme left a few moments later she had asked Bella if she was hungry to which Bella had answered she was unsure. Bella had lost a lot of weight in the last months and we knew that was our fault in fact it was all our fault and we were all shouldering the blame.

"We need to find the guys that did this" Emmet said the emotions coming off him spelt murder and I agreed.

"We will but Bella feels protected with us here we can't leave just yet she needs us" Emmet nodded

"Then later" he agreed I nodded we both smelt the tears before we heard Bella's sobs we had tried to give them some privacy but we couldn't ignore it now.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" She repeated over and over we heard movement as somone got on the bed

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella…" Rosalie shushed Bella.

Rosalie Pov

We were stuck none of us knew how to broach the subject Carlisle started by explaining her injuries avoiding the injuries on her private area, when he was finished Esme asked Bella if she was hungry we had all noticed her weight loss, Bella was thin to begin with now she looked unhealthy. When Esme left Carlisle took a deep breath.

"Bella can you tell us what happened" Bella looked up at her tears that had been there for a few minutes finally spilled

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" She continued to repeat the words and my heart broke for her I climbed on the bed and pulled her into my arms

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella…" I spoke "none of this is your fault you did nothing wrong" She stopped saying she was sorry for a moment

"But…but I'm unclean…" she said as she clung to me hiding her face I shook my head, I remembered that feeling even after I was changed I remembered just how unclean I felt

"Oh Bella" there was nothing I could say really that would make her think differently only Edward had that power. I looked up at Carlisle for help

"Please don't leave me again please I know I'm not good enough I know that I am just a distraction but please don't leave please." We all looked at Bella then shocked

"Bella what makes you say you're just a distraction?" Carlisle asked confused

"Edward he told me, he told me he didn't want me, that I was just a distraction for you guys."

"HE WHAT!" Esme's furious voice roared.t


	4. Chapter 4

Ok few twists in this chapter bit of a surprise near the end hope you enjoy and please review.

Esme POV

I put my hand to my face and breathed in several deep breaths, it was a very human thing to do but under such stress I found comfort in the human actions. Poor Bella she had already suffered so much for this terrible to act to happen to her. I busied myself with cooking I found great comfort in it even though I could not enjoy the fruits of my labor I knew Bella could or at least I hoped she would.

I heard Bella's sobs and my heart broke even more she felt unclean, but I was glad that Rosalie was helping her if anyone could help her then she could.

"Please don't leave me again please I know I'm not good enough I know that I am just a distraction but please don't leave please." Bella cried I looked up I wanted to help her I wanted to comfort her but at the moment I didn't know how, I was confused at her words

"Bella what makes you say you're just a distraction?" Carlisle asked sounding just as confused as I was.

"Edward he told me, he told me he didn't want me, that I was just a distraction for you guys." Anger boiled within me at how he could say such a thing to her.

"HE WHAT!" I roared slamming my fist down onto the counter, the counter cracked but I didn't care I was up the stairs and in front of Bella in the next moment trying to keep my anger at my son hidden. "Bella honey tell me exactly what he said" I took her hand in mine trying to encourage her to tell me.

"He told me that he didn't want me that he didn't want me, that my memories would fade…" she sniffled and I urged her to continue "I asked if you were all going to say goodbye, he told me that you had already left, he told me that you were grateful to me for the distraction from the tedium but that you were all tired of pretending to love me and that it was time to move on." I could tell by the looks on Alice Rosalie and Carlisle we were all angry I heard the low growls from Emmet and Jasper they we were all trying to control our anger as not to frighten Bella.

"Bella I want you to listen very carefully to me ok" She nodded slowly unsure "Isabella Marie Swan you have been loved by this Family from the day we met you, you are a warm and kind hearted person and it is impossible not to love you, Me and Carlisle think of you as our daughter you were never a distraction you could never be a distraction, you are part of this family and always will be." Tears streamed from her eyes

"Then why did you leave?" her voice was strained and full of pain Rosalie moved and I took her place pulling Bella into my lap

"We thought it was too dangerous for you" I said deciding that we would all carry the blame for leaving after all we should we all left "We thought you would be better off with out us"

"But I wasn't" Bella cried I pulled her as close as I could without hurting

"And that will be the biggest mistake we have ever made." I told her "All we can do is hope that one day you can forgive us" My voice shook slightly at the thought that she may not forgive us after all she had every right to hold a grudge, but Bella being Bella surprised us all.

"I forgive you; I forgive you but please, please don't ever leave me again."

"Bella?" Carlisle sat on the edge and took her hand again "As head of this Family I can promise you we will never leave you again, and when the time comes we have to leave forks you will be coming with us." Bella moved then and threw herself at Carlisle he hugged her back his eyes meeting mine the message clear Edward was in a lot of trouble and he would not be allowed to hurt our daughter ever again.

Bella POV

I had been at the Cullen's for just over a day now, Carlisle had informed me that he had done a full rape kit while I was unconscious I was a bit uncomfortable at the fact but when Carlisle explained that when they found me I was still bleeding and need stitches anyway he thought it best to do it then than make me go through it while I was conscious. I was glad he had told me and I understood his reasoning he wanted to give me the option of reporting the crime although I knew Jasper and Emmet had other plans I was divided. Each of the them had made apologise to me for leaving even Rosalie that one surprised me until she told me about how she was turned and told me if I ever wanted to talk about it she would listen. To be honest I didn't want to talk about it telling Carlisle what had happened was bad enough and I had to have everyone else leave the house I didn't want everyone to know the details I already felt so ashamed.

It was late evening and we down in the living room the sparsely furnished room I had woken up in was my room and was so unfurnished as Esme was waiting for my input to decorate.

"Where's Edward?" I asked everyone in the room which was everyone bar Carlisle who was at the hospital looked at me.

"He's on his way back he knows what happened he should be here tomorrow but he will call before he arrives so if you don't want to see him…" Alice said quickly I already knew he was coming back but the fact that he knew was new information.

"I don't know" I didn't know I had spoken allowed in fact I was doing that a lot at the moment thinking allowed no one said anything but they all heard. "he'll be mad." I lowered my head

"Trust me Darlin' he'll have bigger problems." Jasper and Emmet smiled wickedly and I giggled Jasper and Emmet weren't the only ones angry at Edward but by far they had the more imaginative punishments, I had caught them arguing Emmet was considering calling the Denali and asking someone called Kate to come for a visit Jasper wanted to tear off various pieces of his body and hiding them for him to find they had settled on a mixture of both, Emmet was just about to call someone when Carlisle had come in Emmet and Jasper had both been surprised when he told them he had already called Kate and unfortunately she wasn't available for a few weeks as she was going to visit a friend for a few weeks. I sat back and thought about what I would say to him would I even want to see him, I was beginning to worry when a wave of calm hit me I scowled at Jasper he had been keeping my emotions as calm as possible allowing me to sort things out but it was beginning to get annoying.

I started to think about what I was going to tell Charlie part of me wanted to tell him the truth another part wanted to just hide away, Carlisle had pointed out that we had to tell Charlie something he would want to know why I was living here. Each of the Cullen's had agreed it was best I moved in and I knew that my suicide attempt played a big part in that. I had two days to decide what to tell Charlie and I was glad of it, whatever I told him it was going to hurt him.

Charlie POV (the Day Bella intends to kill herself)

I loved to fish there was nothing better normally I would be here with Billy Black but this time I wanted to be alone I needed time to think. Bella had been in such a state it was like she was barely alive during the day going through the motions and at night the screaming. At first I went in there trying to comfort her but I couldn't it was impossible only one person would be able to comfort her and he was gone. I tried my very best to hate Edward Cullen he left my daughter broken, but still the joy that he had brought to her life while they had been together kept me from it, don't get me wrong I was angry, and I sometime fantasized about shooting him not that it would do any good oh yes I knew the Cullen's were not human I had heard the tribe's legends all my life it wasn't hard to put two and two together. I wasn't pleased when Edward had fallen for my daughter I didn't want her to be part of that world I knew the dangers of it. So when Edward and his family left I knew it wasn't because Carlisle had gotten a better job and he didn't want a long distance relationship, I had a feeling it was to protect Bella and for that I was grateful so no I couldn't quite bring myself to hate Edward Cullen but I could dislike him immensely.

I had wondered if I should tell Bella what I knew maybe that would help but I had a feeling it wouldn't she would still be in so much pain. I sat in the boat and I couldn't quite shift the feeling something was wrong Bella had acted oddly before I had left in fact she had acted oddly since she got back from PA, I subconsciously touched my gun thankful I had it on me I mean Bella wouldn't do something like that would she? Yet I couldn't shake the dark feeling and so with a deep heart I turned on the motor and headed back to land I needed to make sure my daughter was ok I couldn't shake the feeling she wasn't.

So what did you think Charlie knows this could be interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok I hope you all enjoy this please review

Charlie POV

I sat watching I had seen the tall blonde Cullen Jump two stories through Bella's window I had parked up in a blind spot that gave a perfect view of my house but hid me Carlisle's wife Esme jumped through the window a second later. I wondered what was going on a few moments later two cars pulled up and the rest of the Cullen's got out minus Edward they all approached Bella's window but only Alice and Carlisle jumped through the window to join the other two. After a few minutes the two male Cullen's went to the front door and it was opened by Carlisle, they entered and a few seconds later the blonde left carrying Bella in her arms I fought the urge to reveal myself obviously Bella needed help and deep down I knew it was something I could not give her. I watched as they got in the car and drove away the two male Cullen's were fixing Bella's window and when they were done they left it looked as if they had never been there. After I was sure they were all gone I parked up and entered the house there was an odour of fresh paint that would have disappeared by the time I was due back, In Bella's room they had done a great job of cleaning up it looked like nothing had happened. For some reason I was drawn to my room I looked around for anything out of place when the draw where I kept my spare firearm drew my attention.

"Oh god" I approached the draw and opened it the gun was there as it had been I took it out and opened it to reveal that it was loaded. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose I would have to confirm my suspicions but somehow I knew Bella had being trying to kill herself and the Cullen's had returned to stop her, what I didn't understand was how they knew.

Edwards POV

I had just hunted and changed my cloths thankfully we had an account in every major department store around the country so it was easy for me to obtain some clean clothes. I quickly dialled Alice's number and she answered before the first ring had even finished.

"I'm just outside of forks" I told her

"I know, Jasper and Emmet are coming to you." There was a strange edge to her voice and she hung up before I could ask why. I heard Emmet's thoughts first.

'He's so lucky Bella doesn't want him hurt.' His mind drifted to Bella (who looked thinner and paler than the last time I had seen her ) she had a worried look on her face and she spoke softly asking both Emmet and Jasper not to hurt me, they had reluctantly agreed disappointed but neither wanted to upset Bella. Jaspers thoughts were concealed he was reciting something in Latin and it translated to gibberish.

"Hello Emmet Hello Jasper" I greeted when they appeared in the clearing I was standing in. They scowled at me "May I ask why you are meeting me and why I couldn't just go back to the house" Emmet growled his thoughts telling me that I didn't have any right to ask any questions.

"Because dear brother there are some ground rules to your return." Jasper answered although he too didn't think I had any right to ask questions.

"Can we go through them later I want to see Be…" I wasn't even able to finish her name when Emmet slammed into me.

"Rule one you will not see Bella without supervision and her express consent" Jasper said he seemed pleased by my reaction I was angry how dare they tell me I couldn't see Bella without supervision

"Why" I growled ready to make a run to Bella I was faster.

"Because Dickward the last time you saw Bella alone you ripped out her heart and tore it into a million pieces that's why." I looked at him confused before a pain that felt a thousand times worse than the pain I had felt during our time apart and discovering what had happened to her overcame me I gasped for breath I didn't need. I looked at Jasper and the pain disappeared

"That the pain Bella was feeling when she was begging us not to leave her again, begging us that even though she was just a distraction…" He spat the word and I realised the reason for the rules for the anger they had discovered what I had told Bella.

"I needed to say…" Once again Emmet attacked this time punching me I flew ten feet across the clearing.

"Rule number two you will not try to justify what you told Bella that day, as there is no justifiable reason for it you are how ever allowed to beg for forgiveness." And I couldn't disagree what I told her was inexcusable.

"Anymore rules?" I growled slightly

"Lots but we're just giving you Esme's and Carlisle's rules you haven't heard Bella's yet" Emmet chuckled as did Jasper and they both hid their thoughts from me.

"You're lucky we wanted to hurt you badly" Jasper added and I saw their plan they were still torn they wanted to hurt me and I understood why but Bella's request kept them from doing what they had planned

"Any more rules I need to know before I can see Bella?" I lowered my head slightly scared that Emmet might hit me again and I saw in Jaspers mind that he was making that fear worse.

"not from Esme and Carlisle they will tell you the rest but me and Jasper have one." Emmet smiled evilly

"Well it's more of a promise than a rule" Jasper added

"Go on"

"If you ever hurt our little sister again in any way we will make the pain of the changing seem like a walk in the park you will suffer one thousand times worse than the pain you inflict and just be glad we are not doing that for the pain Bella has been in since that day because as you've already seen it was terrible" Jasper's voice was menacing and I was scared but I had already vowed never to hurt Bella again and if I did I deserved whatever they did to me. Jaspers phone rang he answered I couldn't hear what was being said as they were speaking only loud enough for Jasper, he hung up after a moment and then looked at me. "You're in luck Edward Bella would like to see you but if she asks you to leave you will leave." I nodded and we all started back to the house.

Bella POV

Jasper and Emmet had left to meet Edward and after much thought I had asked them not to hurt him like they planned I had seen the look of disappointment but I couldn't quite bring myself to wish him harm.

"You don't have to see him if you're not ready" Rosalie said sitting next to me

"She's right we can tell Jazz and Emmet to keep him away a bit longer" Alice added

"I know and I don't know if I will be able to have him here for long but I can't deny that I still love him I need to know the truth and I need to hear it from him" Each of the Cullen's had told me that Edward did in fact love me and had only said those awful things so that I would move on and have a happy human life but until I heard the truth from him I don't think I can truly believe it and even then I might not. Esme and Carlisle who were both still very angry at Edward had come up with some rules and with everyone's help I had a few of my own. Even though I had only been with them a day and a half we had discussed a lot of things some things Edward was not going to like.

"If you want some Privacy Bella just ask but at least one of us will be in hearing range" Esme spoke I smiled at her no one was going to take the chance that Edward might say something to me again.

"Ok I think I'm ready" I gave Alice a small smile and she took out her phone I didn't hear what she said but a few moments later she put it away.

"he's on his way" I took in a deep breath I was nervous and was glad Jasper would be with Edward he would keep my nerves under control and with that thought I prepared myself to see Edward once more.


	6. Chapter 6

Next one I hope you like it please review.

Bella POV

I was looking down at the floor when I heard the door open although I didn't hear them enter I knew they had, I felt a wave of calm wash through me and I mentally thanked Jasper.

"Bella?" Edward voice was different from the last time I had heard it, he sounded almost broken and with his voice I knew I couldn't stand not seeing him so I looked up. He was more beautiful than my memory had even allowed his hair was messier than normal and his clothes although new had dirt on them like he had been lying on the ground and I had an inkling that Jasper and Emmet had something to do with that. His eyes darkened slightly and I knew that he was seeing my injuries I had asked emmet and Jasper to hide that from him just in case he decided to run again. Although I didn't know the full extent of the bruising as I was refusing to look into a mirror since coming to the house I hadn't been able to ignore my reflection completely and I knew I had bruising all up the right side, I had managed to hide the initial bruising from Charlie with a bit of make-up but I knew Vampire eyes would be able to see right through it.

"Hello Edward" I replied finally my voice barely a whisper, he looked torn like he wanted to come closer but knew better I decided to close the distance I twisted on the sofa so that my back was to the arm and gestured to the other end he was there in an instant and I jumped Rosalie hissed "Please don't do that" his eyes turned apologetic and the fear that his movement had caused was eased with some help from Jasper.

"I'm sorry Bella…" his words heavy with meaning he wasn't talking about moving too fast he was about to speak again.

"Wait" I put my hand up to stop him continuing "there are things I need to say to you but first…" Rosalie who had already seen her que had moved and when I nodded to her she slapped Edward hard across the face. "Thank you Rose" She smiled and went back to her seat Edward looked at me shocked "I couldn't do it myself it wouldn't hurt you and I would probably break my other hand." He nodded in understanding "I have some things you need to hear and you will listen, if you decide that you can live with these things you are more than welcome to stay." It felt strange saying that he would have to choose after all he was part of this family first this was his house but Esme and Carlisle had told me that this was my house now to and that I was much a part of this family as he was. "First of all you are not allowed to touch me without my permission" this was a rule for everyone but I didn't need to tell them but somehow I knew Edward needed to know. Thankfully he nodded "You have already heard Carlisle's and Esme's rules about us being together alone and about what you said…" I choked a little fighting back the memories "…that night so I won't go through them but know they will be in forced." I was trying to sound strong but was failing I wanted to continue but didn't know how this was the big issue the one that would likely send him running and I was chickening out. I felt a wave of courage and shot Jasper a grateful look "Most importantly you no longer have a say in if I become a Vampire or not…" His eyes darkened and I could see the anger he growled I was slightly scared and I jumped when Esme appeared behind him slapping him upside the head cutting his growl off and making him groan.

"You will listen to what Bella has to say you will not complain and you certainly will not growl at her…" He looked like he was about to say something I had a feeling it was to say he wasn't growling at me but Esme stopped him "I do not want to hear it Edward" and his mouth closed "My apologies Bella" Esme added I smiled as she moved back to where she had been standing.

"Thank you Esme, now the others have told me that you lied…don't speak…they have told me that you love me and that you were only trying to protect me and so I could live a happy human life." He nodded "You are an idiot, congratulations on that plan failing miserably." He looked as if I had just slapped him "For one you knew I was completely besotted with you how could you think so little of how I felt for you for this family you made me feel worthless like I was nothing like I was a distraction" I saw the pain in his eyes but I couldn't quite feel sorry for him he deserved to hear this "The moment I fell in love with you changed everything there was no hope of a happy human life for me but you couldn't see that so I have question just nod your head for yes, do you still love me" He nodded his eyes trying to tell me everything I wasn't allowing him to say "Do you want us to be together" he nodded once more "then there are conditions, I love you Edward withal my heart and soul without you I am nothing but if anything these past events have taught me I am tired of people making decisions for me that they had no right making, now maybe you do have a right to have a say on my mortality so you giving one you have two options we can be together but if you want that you will have to deal with the fact I will be a vampire no if ands or buts I have already spoken to Carlisle and he has agreed he even agreed to do it anyway so don't think by leaving again you will keep me human I haven't decided that part yet" I saw his mind working and I wondered what he would decide "But know this if you leave again in some attempt to keep me mortal that's it there won't be any coming back to me I don't know what I will do what I will become but I know I will be done because you can't keep tearing my heart apart like that and thinking you can fix it. You have a lot of thinking to do and I'm tired Rose will you help me?" Rosalie nodded and came over to me

"Bella wait.." he went to stop me and rose growled

"No Edward I want to know that you have truly thought about what I have said and not made a split second decision" he sat back down as Rose helped me up the bruising between my legs and swelling made it difficult to walk and move about so Rose was helping me along with Alice and Esme to get me around Rose helped me into the bed and with a quick squeeze of my hand she left the room leaving the door open, I knew I wouldn't be alone for long Alice always made sure I never woke up alone.

Edward POV

I watched as Rose helped Bella from the room throughout Bella's speech the family's thoughts let me know just what they thought of me Rose was screaming at me and I saw the satisfaction she got when she slapped me but it didn't hurt so much what hurt more was that it was Bella who had asked her to do it the thought that I had hurt her so much she wanted to slap me resonated through me and I felt like I was burning I saw the pain in her eyes and I wasn't allowed to comfort her. Her words had been like blades each on piecing deeper and the worse part was she was right.

'just so you know son although I love you dearly and that will never change this family will never leave Bella again if she wishes to become like us then she will' Esme told me with her thoughts I nodded at her to let her know I understood I slumped back slightly consumed with my thought surprisingly everyone left Alice took Jasper for a quick hunt surprisingly her thoughts had been closely guarded and I wondered what she had seen that she was hiding.

My choices were clear I could stay and be with Bella but I would have to live with the idea of her becoming like us then eventually she would I had no doubt Carlisle would never break his word but a strange unexpected thought came into my mind I didn't want Carlisle to be the one to do it, if Bella was to become like us should it not be me that does it.

My other option was that I leave and Bella made it quite Clear if I did there would be no coming back and there was no guarantee she would stay human and once again the thought that I should be the one to change her made its way into my mind I closed my eyes and brought up the image I had never wanted to see again it was of Alice and Bella together arms wrapped around each other in embrace both of them smiling only Bella's eyes were not the chocolate brown they were now but bright red from being turned. What choice did I have really? One I would be condemning my Bella to an eternal night the other condemning myself to an eternity of loneliness and pain. With that thought my decision was made after all I was selfish I couldn't lose Bella again and if that meant I got to keep her forever then I could live with that but I had a condition of my own. Before I could move to tell Bella my answer realising I had been sat in the same spot for over an hour, Alice entered her thoughts slightly panicked

"Charlie he's been to see Carlisle they are coming back here and he knows"

"Knows what?" Bella asked at the top of the stair Rose helping her

"Everything!" Bella's face went paler than it normally was as she gawked at Alice but I saw the true extent of Charlie's knowledge he knew what we were.

Carlisle POV

I was in my office at the hospital I was surprised at how fast they had accepted me back I had Bella's file we had discussed whether or not she would report the crime but she wanted to talk to her father first she had finally decided to tell him what happened and even reluctantly agreed to tell him about the suicide attempt I was just getting ready to leave when my door opened and Chief Swan entered closing the door behind him he had a serious look on his face.

"Chief Swan what are you doing here" I was surprised by his appearance he was meant to be fishing

"I think you know why I am here Carlisle where is Bella?" He asked

"She's at my house with the rest of my family" I answered suddenly wondering how much I would have to tell him

"I know she tried to kill herself." He blurted he looked at me as if trying to will me to deny it to tell him it was not true I remained silent. "I also know that you and your family are not human." My eyes widened slightly

"Charlie I assure you…" I tried but he raised his hand

"Don't try to deny it I have lived in forks all my life I have been friends with the tribe almost as long I've heard their legends heard what they said about your family when you got here, it didn't take me long to notice the differences between you and normal folk."

"Charlie …"

"Don't worry doc I have no intentions to tell anyone your secret not like anyone would believe me and I have a feeling that would just make you disappear and take my daughter with you." I was shocked I had never heard Charlie speak so much as if reading my mind he continued "I don't talk much I know I have a hard time expressing feelings but being so reserved has allowed me observational skills it doesn't take a lot to know how much your family cares for Bella now tell me did she try and kill herself?" I sighed I couldn't deny it her had already worked it out for himself

"Yes" with my answer he staggered over to the chair and fell into it.

"It wasn't just because you left was it?" I was impressed Chief swan was just as observant as his daughter was, I shook my head in reply "She was acting strange before I went fishing just after she got back from Port Angelas."

"I'm afraid there is no easy way of telling you this…" I saw him brace himself like he was preparing for a physical blow "Bella was raped." It would have been better if I had just hit him less painful he put his head in his hands

"It's my fault I forced her to go with her friends to get out the house for a few hours I thought it would do her some good."

"This not your fault Charlie it no one's bar the men that did it" at the word men Charlie looked like I had slapped him and I mentally reprimanded myself.

"I need to see her Carlisle I need to see she is ok" I nodded in agreement grabbing my things we left the office I couldn't help but wonder what Charlie knowing our secret meant for us all…


	7. Chapter 7

AN SO I realise that some of the characters in this are a little OOC and Charlie is that, I am basing his character a bit on my Dads who like Charlie in the books has trouble communicating his actions and you never truly understand what he may be thinking. In this Charlies reaction is much like my father's when a member of my family was raped I won't say any more due to spoilers I hope you are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Warning this chapter has Bella describing what happened not in huge detail but still some may find it upsetting.

Bella POV

I was once again sitting on the sofa staring at my hands Charlie knew everything and by everything he knew what had happened and what the Cullen's were. This scared me more than him knowing what happened because this knowledge put him in danger. I heard the car and I heard his somewhat clumsy footfalls on the porch the door opened and this time I heard them enter. Looking up I saw the pain he was in and felt utterly guilty, I had wanted to protect him from it I didn't want him to be in pain alongside me I didn't want that for anyone, well maybe I wanted Edward to feel some pain I was still incredibly angry at him.

"I'm sorry daddy" I almost cried and Charlie surprised us all when without a word he came over sat down next to me and pulled me into a slightly awkward hug. I tensed at first but quickly relaxed into it breaking down in tears. I could remember each hug from Charlie that actually meant something the first was the night Renee had taken me away from him when he had held me close at the age of 3 and told me no matter what he would always be my father and that if I ever needed anything he would be there and the other time was when I was twelve and my Grandmother Dyer had passed away he had flown out and he had held me close a bit like he was now telling me everything would be ok and him saying it made it seem like it would be and eventually it was.

"Shush baby girl you have nothing to be sorry for" He soothed stroking my hair I was still muttering apologies between the sobs but somehow it was getting easier to breath because my father who never seemed to know what to say normally always knew what to say when it really mattered and although each of the Cullen's bar Edward as I had yet to allow him to speak to me had told me it wasn't my fault and I had nothing to apologise for my father saying it made me believe it at least in those moments. He didn't let go until I pulled away which was at least twenty minutes later he didn't move away he put his hand to my cheek and wiped away a few tears that were still falling.

Edwards POV

I watched as Bella's father comforted her and was jealous of it, Jasper glared at me and I soon pushed that feeling away when Bella had pulled away there was a new light in her eyes something that had been missing there was hope there now.

'I'll kill them' Charlie's thoughts had never been so clear as the moment he was staring at Bella's blue face Alice's guard slipped and I saw her vision it was Jasper Emmet and Charlie towering over two heaps on the ground I wondered why I wasn't there surely I had some right to deal with the two who had hurt Bella so badly although Bella had made it quite clear my rights were limited.

'we'll talk' Alice answered before quickly guarding her thoughts once more I gave her a quick nod and focused back on the situation. We spoke for hours about everything why we left what we were the dangers Charlie was in just by knowing he didn't care about that his only thoughts were what he could do to help Bella.

"Dad you should go home and get some sleep" Bella finally said looking relieved but when she met her father's eyes she knew he wasn't finished

"Not just yet Bella I need to know some things first I want you to tell me what happened" Bella gulped and looked to everyone at first I thought she was looking for help but then I realised they were all moving to leave Hell no I was not leaving. I didn't get a choice Jasper and Emmet dragged me from the room I was going to fight when Carlisle's thoughts told me not to that I had caused enough trouble and I hung my head in shame as with a quick movement I had wiggled out of Emmet and Jaspers hold and left.

Bella POV

I watched as Edward was dragged to the door he looked ready to fight when he looked at Carlisle whatever he was thinking made Edward pull out of Jasper and Emmets hold and leave of his own free will all I hoped is that it wasn't the last time I would see him.

"Ok" I finally said Carlisle was the only one to stay he went into the kitchen and got us both a drink Charlie ignored his why I used mine to keep my hands busy I still felt so unclean. "I split from the group they wanted to go see a movie and I didn't so I decided to go to the book store then come home…" I paused and took a sip of my drink and Charlie urged me on "I saw my truck I was less than twenty feet from it when hand went over my mouth and pulled me backwards into the ally way." I looked down at my drink unable to look at Charlie "I tried to fight them off I really did but there was two of them and they were so strong they hit me a few times in the head and I was dazed slightly when they… when they removed my jeans it hurt more than anything I have ever felt they took it in turns and when they were done they beat me and then just left me there on the ground naked." My hands shook and Charlie's hand appeared and took the mug so I wouldn't spill the hot contents all over me, we were all silent for a moment when Charlie finally spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice spoke of the pain he was in this time I managed to look up into his eyes

"I didn't want to hurt you." Tears streamed down my face

"And what killing yourself wouldn't?" there was a slight anger in his voice which I understood but his eyes told me that yeas he was hurt and angry that I hadn't told him and that I was willing to end my life instead but his eyes still told me he understood.

"I just felt so unclean and worthless I thought you would be better off without me" It was an understatement of what I had been feeling what I was still feeling but I couldn't tell him just how much I wanted to die how in truth the thought about how he would handle it was barely a thought to tell him just how truly selfish it was.

"Oh Bella" he took my hand in his and it comforted me.

"Charlie may I ask how you knew that Bella had tried to kill herself" Carlisle asked

"Well I told you I saw you enter my house you obviously didn't have time to open the window so something was happening also when I left the draw I left the gun in was open when I got back it was closed and when I checked the gun it was loaded" Charlie told us "It didn't take much to add it all together."

"I am so sorry dad" he gave me a sad smile and I returned it.

"Listen Bella I know that everything is complicated not just with what's happened to you but with what the Cullen's are I know what you being in love with Edward means and kid I've got to tell you I don't know how I feel about that," he paused "I want you to make me a promise ok I want you to tell me before you go off and I lose you ok I want a proper goodbye and I don't want it soon I also want you to promise that if you start to feel like the only way out is to end your life that you will come and talk to me to anyone ok" I nodded

"I will dad as for me leaving" I put air quotes around the word "nothing is set in stone" I didn't want to tell him that if Edward choose to stay with me I would become like the Cullen's I didn't want Charlie to think he could intervene with it by warning Edward away. After another twenty minutes Charlie decided it was time to go and I realised it was nearly midnight.

"You want to stay here don't you?" It was a statement more than a question but still I nodded "Ok then I'll come by tomorrow to check on you…" I was about to argue when he stopped me "Don't argue Bella" I smiled and nodded it a final hug Charlie left and I waited it was time to get Edwards answer.

Edward POV

I was sitting In the meadow I could no longer call it mine and I didn't know if it was still ours so the meadow is the best I could do it had lost its beauty to me and I knew why without Bella there was no Beauty left for me to see. 'Edward I need to talk to you' Alice's thoughts intruded I few seconds later she appeared at the edge of the field. Her thoughts once again became guarded.

"Alice why are you blocking me" I asked my tone a little harsh her eyes flashed with anger and she stormed towards me she stopped in front of me her hands balled up into fists.

"Because Edward I made a promise to Bella not to show you what I saw and unfortunately I am having trouble not thinking about it." Her body shook as she fell to her knees dry sobbing "I saw it happen I watched what they did to her and there was nothing I could do because it had already happened" I looked at Alice shocked realising that not only had Bella been through a trauma but so had Alice to be forced to watch someone you love be hurt in such a manner I pulled Alice into a hug as she sobbed.

"I am so sorry Alice I made the biggest mistake of my entire existence and you and Bella are paying the price I am so sorry and I will never stop saying it" Alice sobbed for a while longer but eventually pulled away in slightly better spirits

"You are an idiot" She stated

"I nodded"

"And you are going to buy me a car I know just what I want" I saw the car in her mind and chuckled her troubles forgotten at least for a few minutes I nodded and she smiled but it didn't last "I can't stop seeing it" she looked down "things keep sending me back Carlisle thinks it might be a vampire version of PTSD" she chuckled darkly "I know it will stop I have seen myself happy again with Jasper smiling but right now…" She shook her head "I keep getting visions of them even now I know where they are"

"Alice why am I not with Emmet and Jasper instead of Charlie." I asked she looked into my eyes

"Bella asked me to guard my thoughts so you wouldn't see…" I closed my eyes

"It makes sense she wouldn't want me to hear it from them" Alice nodded "Charlie is set on killing them he will tell Bella in a few days Jasper and Emmet will go with him"

"Alice? Will Bella forgive me?" I asked knowing I had already chosen to stay meant she might be able to see.

"I see you two smiling and happy together so I think so but I think you have a lot of making up to do" I nodded in agreement "anyway lets go get the others Charlie is leaving in a few minutes and we can go back Bella wants her answer" she stood offering me her hand and I took it, It was time for me to tell Bella.

AN ok so one little issue is Bella saying how selfish her actions were just to clarify she sees now how her actions were selfish at the time she thought it was the best thing for everyone. I pulled on my own experience a little. I bet you didn't see that it would be Charlie with Jasper and Emmet like I said using my own experience my dad didn't kill the person who hurt my family member but he wanted to so i thought in this Charlie could get to do it. I don't know how many more Chapters there will be next one Bella and Edward talk and then i might do a time jump with a chapter to explain whats happened I want to get to what i have planned. Hope you enjoyed it


	8. Chapter 8

An ok so I decided that in this Bella is 17 not 18 I do this a lot I know but Bella needs time to heal so she will be 18 when she is turned I don't know if it will be in this story or a sequel I am just going with the flow, also I worked out that the Cullen's had been gone four months so it would be January when it happened there is a time jump in this chapter otherwise the chapter would be too short I hope you enjoy. This is not a song fic but this chapter does have a song I think it will be the only one maybe two in a later scene otherwise if Bella is singing it will just be the title of what she is singing and by who so you can look it up yourself.

Bella POV

We sat in my room which was still very unfurnished the door was open and I knew all the others were listening carefully

"So you've made you decision" I said aloud worried about his answer he nodded

"I will ask that I am not interrupted as what I have to say is important and you need to hear it" Edward said and I knew he was talking to the rest of the family I nodded for him to continue "I know I have been told that I cannot justify what I said to you but I need you to hear what I was thinking at the time know that I understand that there is no excuse for it but it is something I think you need to hear."

"Alright" I answered allowed for others benefit.

"I lied to you Bella that night, I told you the biggest and worse lie in that I didn't love you in that my family didn't love you it was the worst kind of blasphemy…" He paused for a moment "I did this because I believed you could have a better life without me and my family in it and I was wrong, you were right I had no right to make that decision for you and all I can do is pray that one day you will be able to forgive me. So now I owe you the truth and here it is I love you Bella Swan I love you with my entire being you are my everything and knowing just how much my actions have hurt you rips me apart inside. I will not insult you by saying I promise I have already broken your trust but I can tell you that I will never leave you again the thought of losing you is the single most terrifying thought I have ever experienced." He paused and I took a breath

"You understand what that means right"

"I do, and I am selfish enough to want you forever although I wonder how much you would want me to be the one to turn you?" My eyes widened was he offering to turn me but I shook my head

"No Edward I won't let you use that against me I have already discussed timing with Carlisle has agreed to turn me before my nineteenth birthday that gives you over a year"

"I'm not after more time."

"Then what Edward what would you want in return for you to turn me"

"I want you to marry me." My mouth fell open "Just listen ok I know your thoughts on Marriage but I want you in every way possible I want us tied together both by venom and by vows."

"I'll think about it" I told him he rewarded me with the crooked smile I loved

"Bella may I hold your hand" he asked I smiled and nodded he took my hand in his and the electricity I had always felt when he had touched me returned everything was looking up.

Time Jump

Bella POV

It's been three months since I was raped and I was finally able to admit what had happened, in the first two days after the Cullen's stopped my suicide it seemed like I was handling things well but that all changed. Carlisle told me it was likely I was in a form of shock during the first few days when the shock wore off I was left to deal with the emotions I was surprised I didn't give poor Jasper whip lash in that first month. Everything mad me jump I couldn't stand being alone and yet I couldn't stand being around people the thought that the men that had hurt me were still out there terrified me but I didn't have to worry about that now. Charlie had told me he Jasper and Emmet had taken care of it although I didn't hear the details I know they suffered Charlie had told me that it was his right as my father to punish the men who had hurt me Carlisle had helped by telling me that if this was three hundred years ago Charlie would have the right to kill the men I didn't want to think about it so I didn't. I was still living with the Cullen's and my room had been decorated. I was currently being home schooled by Esme I had tried to go back to school and it had been alright for half a day but Mike Newton had grabbed my arm which had sent me into a full blown panic attack I was sure if Edward wasn't trying to calm me Mike would have died that day, poor mike he was only trying to ask me if he could borrow my notes. That panic attack caused rumors to spread most were far-fetched some going as far as to say I was on drugs but it was Angela who added things up she hadn't meant for it to be overheard but Lauren had been in the stacks next to where we were talking and heard me confirm Angela's suspicions, of course Lauren twisted it saying I was crying rape on some poor guy I regretted sleeping with. Two weeks was all I could handle and Carlisle agreed it was best for my health to be home schooled luckily for me I had teachers who had witnessed history. Charlie came by nearly every day to see how I was He had called Renee to tell her what had happened to me leaving out what had happened to the men I had yet to hear from her I had a suspicion she was in denial. The only person I could bare to have touch me in that first month was Edward but it was easier now I had wanted to get over my fear and asked Carlisle how I could he had suggested that each day I initiated contact with someone other than Edward. I was now able to hug each one of the Cullen's and my father without going into a full-fledged meltdown. Mine and Edwards relationship was improved we now talked to each other about our true feeling he told me his doubts and worries and how selfish he felt for allowing me to become like him and I told him how scared I was of people and then on the worst day after my initial suicide attempt I told him how much I wanted to die, I don't remember just what had brought the onslaught of negative emotion but I found myself curled in the corner crying trying as hard as I could not to think about the fact I was on the third floor and a quick jump head first would likely kill me. Edward who had been hunting returned to an onslaught from Jasper and Alice who had both being trying to calm me Edward hadn't asked to hold me like he normally did and I didn't care when he had taken me in his arms everything seemed easier I felt like I could breathe again. After this I agreed to undergo counselling from no other than Jasper who I discovered had degrees in Phycology and mental health and today was a session.

I hadn't never seen a phycologist so I didn't know if our sessions were anything like normal the first few times we didn't talk much in fact we had spent the two hours with Jasper teaching me how to play chess the Cullen way I was still learning the rules seemed to be much more complicated. Sometimes we would just read in the library other times he would teach me something new like how to play guitar and that how I was here sitting with a guitar in front of Jasper he had asked me to go away and write a song I agreed but only if he would be the only one to hear it.

I took the guitar and began to play. (song is Dark side by Kelly Clarkson)

Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

What can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Will you love me? ohh

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

Don't run away

Don't run away

Don't run away

Promise you'll stay.

When I finished the last line I looked at Jasper his eyes were slightly wide and his mouth slightly open he composed himself then spoke

"Bella you have an amazing voice"

"Really?" I was surprised I had never really done any singing before and to be told by a vampire who could hear every little detail in your voice tell you that your voice is amazing it's a little unbelievable.

"Yes really, you should sing for the others I know they will love it" I shook my head slightly

"I don't think I am ready for it maybe another time" Jasper nodded I was grateful to him he had really helped me these last months "Jasper before we finish I just want to say thank you for everything you have done for me these last few months if it weren't for you I think I would still be a mess." I hugged him then although I hugged someone everyday it was rare for me to hug any male bar Edward not that I was afraid of them well maybe a little but I always felt awkward hugging people it didn't take long for him to return the hug his control was much better now he was allowed to be around me when he had come to apologize for what happened on my birthday I told him it was an accident I explained that I believed it was a mixture of everyone else's thirst along with the fact he didn't spend much time with me that my scent hit him so hard. He admitted to me that Edward had asked him to keep his distance because of his control I had then made Edward apologize to his brother maybe if Jasper had been able to be around me he would have gotten acclimatized to my scent and been able to handle a few drops of blood. And I was right now Jasper could be alone with me and hug me without any issues my scent was so much a part of the house no one even noticed it anymore, although during the few days a month where I bled with no control over it a certain distance was maintained by all bar Edward and Carlisle after all they were all still vampires.

"You are very welcome Bella" He smiled as we stepped away from the hug "Now why don't we go play a game of chess while we wait for the others

"Fine but you have to give up two of your queens" he laughed and nodded his head putting his arm around my shoulders we left the music room. Yes everything was looking brighter still there was a long road ahead I still had the outside world to deal with.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ok so the chess game is different I know in the books its several chess sets and I think three levels if I am wrong please don't shoot me I am going off memory right now as we moved and my books got damaged I have yet to replace them I will give a more in depth detail of how the chess game goes in this story in this chapter also I work shifts so may updates are quite sporadic I apologies and will try to update at least once a week, I read through the last chapter and noticed a few mistakes I will not be editing until I finish the story unless I make a huge mistake in the plot line so if you see any spelling or grammar mistakes you can inform me in a review but if you do it I want your views on the plot line as well as I have noticed on many stories Writers have been upset myself also when people comment about the grammar and spelling and leave nothing about the story which leaves a lot not getting finished, I am trying to stop myself getting down hearted. Sorry for the extra-long Author note.**

Bella POV

We were playing the Cullen's version of chess I think I was just about getting my head around it, it was a custom built chess board that consisted of twenty four spaces across and sixteen in width and three levels high (So 3 chess board length two width) this meant a lot more pieces each player had 3 queens and three kings the game was one when all three queens had been capture along with two kings or when all three kings had been captured. Each player had 24 pawns on each level along with 4 rooks 4 knights and 4 bishops you also had an extra piece well two called the prince and princess these pieces were somewhat like the queen with the ability to move in any direction but these were the only pieces that could be switched for a queen if you got to the opponents end unlike in a traditional chess game. The eight spaces that were left could be filled with whatever the player chose from the bishops rooks and knights the queens were the only ones that could move up a level from any space on the board all other pieces needed to be at the edges and the pawns could not move up or down and neither could the king, All the pieces on one level were captured once the king on that level was captured but with the option of being able to save two pieces this could not be a king or queen. Jasper had taught me the game and the second time we had played I could tell he was letting me win I had been a little upset and we came to agreement that although he could give me an advantage by giving up pieces before the game he could not just let me win he had agreed and I had yet to beat him. Today I had asked him to give up two of his queens and he had done so leaving only his one on the top level and he refused to fill the empty eight spaces behind his pawns so in total he had 26 less pieces than I did at the beginning of the game. Normally I had been told the game was timed but everyone had kindly agreed that I could have as much time as I needed while I was still human. Today was no different than any other Jasper was winning but I didn't feel upset I was just glad he still wanted to play with me even though he won all the time although I was doing better than I normally did I had captured one of his kings saved myself by getting my princess to the edge and claiming another queen replacing the one jasper had already taken and I still had two of my kings and two queens and I was feeling proud of myself even though the next moves saw Jasper claim one of my kings and another a queen which left only one level to play on I knew I had lost because my next move no matter what I did I would lose my queen or king I managed to take another of his kings with my final move (all kings not taken move up giving the other player a chance) and he took my king.

"You did very well Bella" I smiled at him I liked playing against Jasper he was never a saw winner unlike Emmet who I had played only a day after learning the rules he had beat me and had been very smug about it for several days I now refused to play him until I had perfected my skills. Alice was never allowed to play although she admitted it didn't interest her that much Esme played but she would often make mistakes to give me an advantage so my enjoyment was never complete Rosalie like Alice was not interested and Carlisle like Jasper agreed to give me the advantage at the beginning of the game and play to win. I had only ever won it once and that was against Edward I still wasn't sure if he had let me win although Alice and Jasper both said he was trying very hard to win.

"He's never been against someone that he can't read…your moves to him are a surprise and he can't see what you are thinking and why you are moving that particular piece you pulled him into so many traps it was hysterical" Jasper had told me chuckling when I had asked him about it "He's a decent player because he can see the persons moves before the make them and counter but with you he can't." I had beamed at the prospect of actually besting someone although I felt a little guilty that it had been Edward although I couldn't stop laughing when Emmet had teased him about being beaten by a girl and a human one at that, it had caused them to have a wrestling match outside and when Edward had returned I had brushed furiously at the fact his shirt was gone and he had caught me staring. I had yet to make my decision on whether to marry Edward and had discussed it with Esme and Carlisle knowing my own father would be dead set against it he had already told me his misgivings and asked that I didn't ask him for advice knowing he would never be able to give me an unbiased answer I had been grateful he was being honest with me. Renee would never agree to it her views on marriage were simple so that left Esme and Carlisle the most loving caring people I had ever met both capable of giving un biased advice while still showing that they care they were my parents Esme a mother I never really had having always to play adult from a young age and Carlisle the father my dad was trying so hard to be. So I found myself talking to them about the deal Edward had suggested my fears and misgivings over marriage my fears that Edward would go back on his word try and keep me human or worse leave me again. Both of them had calmed my fears over the whole marriage deal telling me that when you know you want to be with that person for the rest of your life marriage is a way of tying yourselves together for the rest of your lives or in our case eternity what surprised me is when they seemed to become upset at the way Edward had approached the subject saying he could not use such a thing to get his own way if he wanted to marry me he should just ask me no strings attached and I knew that both Esme and Carlisle had words, and I hoped that he wouldn't ask again just yet I wasn't ready to give him an answer I was still trying to heal from everything that had happened.

"Jasper?" I asked pulling myself back to the present he looked at me and smiled "I want to go and see my dad" I was nervous and I knew he could tell I hadn't left the Cullen's since I had started home schooling "He should be at home" the others were not due back for a few hours and I knew Jasper would be able to tell if it were too much. He gave me a concerned look then nodded

"If you would like to try then of course I will get my keys" A few minutes later we were in Jaspers car although I didn't know the make it looked fast and was very comfortable to sit in "are you ready?" he asked I nodded and tried to steady my breathing which was a little fast I felt a familiar wave of calm and my muscles relaxed I thanked him as we drove down the long driveway.

It was strange while we were driving into town I wasn't to panicked but as soon as we hit the town I suddenly felt very exposed my eyes darted around Jasper slowed the car down slightly and looked at me.

"Would you like to go back" I shook my head hoping he would understand I needed to do this I couldn't hide away for ever and each of the Cullen's had told me that when we are turned we take our emotions with us I didn't want to be an agoraphobic Vampire soon we pulled up outside my house I wave of sickness hit when I remembered the last time I had been here but I pushed it down Jasper got out and came and opened my door he offered his hand and I took it he moved it so his arm was draped around me protectively and I felt safer. Charlie met us at the door he was beaming and all the panic washed away and I remembered why I had come. If I was going to have to leave him when I became a vampire I was going to make damn sure he knew I was better.

We spent two hours in the house with Charlie the game on in the background when Jasper started to feel I was uncomfortable he changed the subject Charlie had been asking about me and Edward and Jasper had asked him he thought would win the game and the distraction had worked we spent the rest of the time listening to Charlie talk about the game.

"I was thinking of going fishing this weekend." I could tell he was looking for my approval he had forgone fishing since the event as I was calling it and had seen me every day I smiled and knew that it was a good sign

"You should go dad it will be good for you" He nodded and agreed promising to see me on the Friday. We left soon after and my mood stayed the same although I felt a little uncomfortable driving through town.

Friday came and Charlie appeared early in the evening we all greeted him and he sat down we talked about his work day I talked about my lessons with the Cullen's he laughed when I told him that Jasper had first-hand experience on the civil wore so I was most likely be knowable than anyone else at school if I ever went back. Charlie wasn't exactly comfortable with the Cullen's vast history but it was getting easier things became tense when Alice gasped the everyone excused themselves apart from Edward who whispered to me that he would tell me everything later, Charlie seemed a little tense when he left but Edward was too busy listening to Alice to notice.

"So what's going on?" I asked Edward sighed "Tell me"

"Victoria" I froze "Don't worry Love Alice saw that she will be visiting your house tomorrow but it won't be till late evening and Charlie will already be gone" I smiled

"So what's the plan" I asked less concerned about Charlie and more about everyone else

"We can't confront her at the house she would cause a scene someone would get hurt your neighbor June in particular" Alice said "In fact we can't confront her at all without her hurting someone if we just let her go to the house and leave then no one else will get hurt but if we do that…" She paused I pleaded for her to tell me "I see a possible future where she manages to get to you before we stop her it's not solid but it's there where as if we stop her tomorrow…"

"Someone else gets hurt?" I asked she nodded "Let her go I don't want anyone else hurt I am sure we will figure it out."


	10. Chapter 10

**Ok so thank you for your reviews and I have some of your answers in this chapter some people may hate me and just stop reading after this chapter because there is a death in this chapter please don't hate me I will explain everything at the end.**

Edward POV

It was 2am and Bella was asleep in my arms, I would never forgive myself for what I had done to her and what that had meant she had to go through but slowly the guilt was fading I hid it well enough from Bella but Jasper could always tell. When Bella had finally relaxed enough to be able to let me hold her again I had been elated Bella healing meant the world to me. She had only just drifted off we had all been immersed in the convocation about Victoria trying to figure out anyway of stopping her but everything ended Badly for some reason Alice couldn't see which direction she was coming from and only ever saw her at the house I had seen in Victoria's mind that she had a knack for escaping and keeping her true plans hidden and I had to wondered if this is what kept Alice from seeing what Victoria was doing at Bella's house. I wanted her dead but I could not go against Bella's wishes she would be devastated if something happened to someone else because we were trying to protect her. Alice was angry at herself for not seeing it sooner she had been consumed with wedding plans apparently me and Bella would marry it was just the when that was difficult to pinpoint of course she had not told Bella this wanting Bella make her own decisions but I had been ecstatic at the prospect. We had finally decided that we would simply have to let Victoria go although I hated the fuzzy image of her attacking Bella luckily it was very fuzzy so I knew there was something we could do we just had not decided it yet.

"Edward…" Bella sighed in her sleep and all my worries were pushed aside as my angel talked in her sleep.

Victoria POV (fun)

I wanted her dead I wanted them all dead I had almost had her when I had seen the human male pull her into the ally way I revelled in her screams it was better than anything I could make her suffer through. I had intended to kill her myself but I wanted her to suffer more first so I allowed her to wallow planning on catching up with her in a few days only to discover the Cullen's had returned. Of course the psychic knew and my plans had to adapt luckily my own unique gift allowed me to travel under her radar although I now allowed to see me at the bitches house surely they would come wanting me dead and all, my plan was simple why they came to the house I would have already been on my way to theirs I had a suspicion they would only leave one to protect her. Thinking of that little human had my body filled with rage how was it fair that she was alive and my James was dead I cursed each one of the Cullen's if I had a chance I would kill them all. I stood outside her house the lights were off no one was home I was curious so I went inside. Forcing the door open I was instantly aware I was not alone I smiled at least if nothing else I was going to get fed.

Charlie POV

I placed the box in my cruiser and parked it just out of view of the house I prayed that Bella would understand everything I was about to do know my reasons I had kept so much hidden from her I had been so afraid that I would lose her. I had overheard the Cullen's when I had gone to the Bathroom talking about Victoria the vampire after Bella I had heard other things but nothing mattered as much as my baby girl being safe. I had been through the plan many a times and was so glad that Carlisle had been candid when we had discussed how to kill a Vampire. I wondered if it would be enough if she would actually be destroyed but even if there was a miniscule chance it would work I had to try.

I was slightly dazed as I waited the air thick when the door opened I managed to stand there was a chance she would know something was up and run and if that happened I had to be ready to get out the house in time She spun round to face me her red hair like fire I smiled slightly her eyes black good she was hungry.

"I won't let you hurt her" my voice sounded sluggish from lack of oxygen she laughed

"You don't have a choice" she was in front of me her hand pushed my head aside and I felt the searing pain in my neck as she greedily drunk my blood a small smile played on my lips as the final seconds on the clock ticked down for the briefest of seconds I saw Bella laughing and smiling telling me she loved me and then everything went out.

3rd person POV

Victoria hadn't noticed her entrance had caused a timer to start she hadn't noticed that the house she entered was full of gas hadn't seen the barrels of gasoline, Charlie had been careful with his plans the fire would burn hot and fast and would not go out easily the explosion would cover Victoria in fuel he had calculated it perfect, he had wagered on the fact that the scent of his blood would be more prominent to a Vampire than the smell of gas and he was right because Victoria had smelled the gas but her thirst had been too strong and Charlie had cut his hand to make the scent stronger when it happened the explosion could be heard for miles and seen it obliterated the two occupants and a purple smoke emanated from the centre of the wreckage.

 **AN ok I know this chapter is very short I could probably do more but I want to focus more on the effect Charlie's actions all is explained in the next Chapter may be slightly off cannon I mean would that actually kill a vampire who knows but I wanted it to in this story. I am sorry to those that Love Charlie and those who wanted him to have a happy ending but please trust me. I hoped you enjoyed please review**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok so this is a really short one but wanted to give you all an update been really busy with work had overtime got a week off next week so will make sure to get several chapters done**

Dearest Bella

I am so sorry that I must now leave you behind but know that I love you more than anything and anyone I have ever met because you are my daughter. I beg that you do not feel guilty for the end of my life I know that this will trouble you but know this is my choice, there is not much more I can do for you knowing that you are in love with Edward and that he loves you I know what your future holds, I wish that I could be there to see you two get married be the one to walk down the aisle I guess Alice didn't know I could hear her talking about it last Monday when I came round .I know that you are not sure and that is due partially to the way me and your mother raised you we made it seem that we regretted marrying one another but I need you to know I have never once regretted it even through all the pain I went through when she left with you I could never look back and wish I hadn't of married her. I can see how much Edward loves you and when you make your decision I want you to know that you have my blessing as long as you are happy you will always have it. There something important I need to tell you because I know you will be asking why I had to go that surely there was another way but I don't think there was but I didn't want you to think I gave up my life because Bella I had already lost it, you see a month after the Cullen's left I went to the doctor I've been having pain for a while now and I didn't tell you because of how broken you already were I couldn't be the cause of more heartache, the doctor told me it was stage four lung cancer he used another name for it but that doesn't matter he told me it would kill me within six months and I have been feeling it deep down I have felt it slowly killing me, so please don't feel guilty I know you will you will see it as your fault cause this Victoria was after you but know that it gave me a chance at something I didn't think I would get it was a chance for my death to mean something and if my death means that you are safe well I will die over and over to do that. I know I am not very good at expressing my emotions a trait I have passed on to you the silence has always been a comfortable place for both of us but now there are things I want to say to you, The day you were born was the best day of my life I and the day you were taken by your mother was the worst day, when you called to tell me you were coming to live with me I was beyond ecstatic and I am sorry I didn't show that more I know you hated forks at first I know the only reason that changed was because of Edward and the rest of the Cullens. I couldn't be more grateful to them I hope you don't mind but I saved all the photos from the house and a few things I wanted to have the rest is just junk, Know that I will be watching over you and that I am proud of you for the rest of eternity knowing that you are loved.

With all my love

Dad

Carlisle POV

Bella held the letter tightly in her hands she had read it aloud and then seemed to be reading it over and over, none of us knew what to say none of us knew what to do and the house was quiet apart from Bella's silent tears and her heartbeat. Alice had only seen the vision seconds before the explosion was heard Victoria's decision to kill Charlie had come through loud and clear yet none of us understood how Alice hadn't had the vision of Charlie's plans to which Alice was devastated.

"He was dying?" she looked to me I had already got Charlie's medical records from the hospital although I did break a few rules but I knew Bella would want answers

I moved so I was directly in front of her.

"Yes Bella he was diagnosed in early October it had already spread to his heart and liver last tests show it had gone through all his body. He seemed to be in minimal pain which he to pain killers for"

"It would have got worse" I wanted to lie to her but knew I couldn't

"Yes much if he had lived the pain would have become more severe over time until he was in agony."

"But this, the explosion it was…" she couldn't bring herself to say it I nodded

"Yes, even if he had felt anything the explosion would have killed him with in a second or two any pain would have been brief it was quick." She nodded more tears spilling from his eyes

"Why didn't he tell me" it wasn't a question so no one answered I was starting to become worried about her health now she had only just started getting better after the rape I was scared this would set her back I decided that she needed some sleep I looked over to Alice and she nodded

"Just a light sedative and she will find it easier in the morning." Alice said to quick for Bella's ears

"Bella I am going to give you a light Sedative you need to sleep ok" She looked at me and I thought she was going to argue with me but she simply nodded I retrieved the sedative and injected it into her arm a few minutes later her eyes slowly closed her heartbeat evened out and she fell asleep leaning on Edward.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi I am truly sorry for not updating but in a while my pc crashed again due to the motherboard which had to be replaced luckily my stories were safe on my hard drive but before I could start writing again I fell very ill and was in hospital over a week I have since been getting back to full health and thought that I would get a few updates in before Christmas.**

Edward POV

I sat with Bella the sedative although light had done the trick and sent her off into a peaceful slumber I was torn between sorrow for Charlie's death and the joy of knowing Victoria was dead and gone and could no longer threaten Bella's life. I pulled the envelope from my back pocket Chief swans writing was nearly as bad as Bella's but it was readable the envelope was addressed to me with a line telling me not to let Bella see it. I carefully opened the letter and pulled out the small piece of paper.

Edward,

I can't say I ever liked you what father ever likes the man who will take their daughter away from them but I see how much you love her and I know she will be safe with you and for that I am grateful but you did hurt her once and I know you did it to protect her but know this if you ever hurt her again and I mean ever and I know you are immortal I will find a way to haunt your ass for all eternity.

Look after my daughter Edward and you will always have my blessing.

Charlie Swan.

I chuckled slightly at his threat and pulled Bella ever so slightly closer and kissed her head grateful that she trusted me enough to hold her while she slept and agreed that we didn't need a chaperone as I looked at the love of my life I spoke softly to the air.

"I promise Charlie"

Carlisle POV

I held the envelope addressed to me and Esme in my hands there were four letters one to Bella and three others that she had no knowledge of as all had the same words 'don't let Bella see.' One was addressed to Edward the others were to me and Esme and the other to Alice and 'the other Cullen kids' I chuckled at the thought we had never actually told him that all the children were old enough to be his grandparents.

"Shall we read it?" Esme approached the love seat I sat on I smiled at her and nodded Alice had dragged the others minus Edward and Bella to read their letter. I carefully opened the letter and read it aloud.

"Dear Carlisle and Esme, I was never any good in expressing gratitude its funny how when facing the end how those worries about seeming strong or being a man as my father put it all fall away my only concern is Bella she has been through so much she had to grow up so fast with her mother she never truly had any parents even when she stayed with me for those few weeks those summers she cared for me cooked cleaned I never had to ask and wouldn't have. When she moved here I was lost I didn't know how to be a good dad I was so terrified at getting it wrong that I allowed her fall into the same habits she had with her mother when you left and she truly needed my help I froze, I tried to help tried to get her to move on but I knew even then she couldn't she had fallen so far and so hard for your son that there was no repairing that damage without putting them back together when I was diagnosed I couldn't tell her she was just staying above the surface and I know she was doing it for me I knew if I told her I would lose her fully. I was going to find you I actually tried but I couldn't find you so I focused on helping Bella trying to get her out the house I thought if she started living again she may be able to recover enough so that I could talk her into going back to her mother so she wouldn't be alone." Esme who had been holding my hand tightened her grip and I knew if she had the ability to cry she would be. "I know that she thinks of you as parents and I know she feels guilty for it but when she is ready, show her this letter so she knows that I don't blame her that I want her to have you guys. So as one father to another Carlisle please take care of Bella look after her as if she were your own ~I know you will, you already do., Esme I don't even have to ask I know you will be a mother to her and she needs that. I know I can trust you guys with her.

Charlie Swan."

"We will Charlie we will" Esme sobbed I put my arm around her nodding in agreement.

Alice POV

I, Jasper Emmet and Rosalie sat in my room the letter was in my hands and I was already aware of the contents but decided to let the vision play out without telling anyone.

"Dear Alice and other Cullen kids, I don't have a lot to say to you guys just a request that you will keep Edward in check and make sure he never hurts Bella I also want to thank you all for saving Bella the night she tried to kill herself and for helping her through the aftermath of everything she went through I know I would have lost her completely if it were not for you guys and for that I am more grateful than words can express.

Charlie Swan

P.S Alice thank you for being such a good friend to Bella I know you will always be there for her." I smiled sadly as did everyone else

"I promise Charlie if Edward so much as thinks about hurting bella I will beat him so badly that he will feel it for the rest of existence." Emmet said aloud we all heard Edward chuckle

"Ditto" Jasper added seriously there was no chuckle this time and I could only imagine what Jasper was thinking to keep him silent.

"I promise to keep helping her through it" Rosalie smiled sadly we all smiled at her Rosalie had been the most affected by Bella's situation and in recent weeks had been battling flashback I knew she didn't want anyone to know she felt weak and didn't want Bella to think she would remember it forever we all knew our last moments as humans were the most prolific hopefully Bella wouldn't remember the event at all or at least not remember details.

"I promise you Charlie Bella will be ok" I let the vision of her as a vampire was over me her smile and her gold eyes.

 **Ok sorry it is so short it's not the end of drama just because Vicky is gone no I have lots planned for drama but It may slow some what in the next few chapters going to add a few fluff bits**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hope Everyone had a good Christmas, and hope everyone has a very happy new year I am looking forward to being at full health please feel free to review, as I have said before I will be going back and editing when the story is finished so grammar mistakes feel free to point them out but please be kind.**

 **Also Charlies badge number is never mentioned in the books but in this story it is 281 the last radio call may be slightly out but I will do my best to get it right.**

Bella POV

I was dreaming, of that I was aware, my father stood several feet away from me his back turned to me in front of him was different coloured lights I tried to go to him but not on step I took made a difference.

"Dad!" I called out trying to get him to turn to me tears streamed down my face when he didn't answer "Daddy please don't go" I fell to my knees my hands covered my face as I wept a hand touched my shoulder and his voice surrounded me

"I'm sorry baby girl but I have too" I looked up at him he was still my father but a much younger version, a version I had only seen in photos.

"Why?" I asked my voice sounding more childlike

"It's my time, your safe now that's all that matters" He touched my cheek with my hand "Be happy Bella for me don't let my end be yours too." Tears ran down my cheeks and he wiped them away "Promise me." I slowly nodded

"I promise you dad I promised." The dream faded and I opened my eyes.

"Bella are you ok?" Edward was lying next to me I turned my head to face him tears on my cheeks. I didn't answer and I didn't have to Edwards eyes were soft and full of understanding the last week I didn't need anyone else to be with me but him and he now lay with me while I slept although he always made sure I awoke with him only lying next to me I wasn't ready to wake from unconsciousness to someone holding me.

Today was Charlie's funeral the whole town was attending and all the seats in the church were said to be reserved, flowers food and condolence cards had come in dozens humans that had never dared approach the Cullen house before dared now whether to comfort me or to try and gain some gossip it didn't matter there was no one outside the Cullen's that could comfort me and the gossip didn't matter to me anymore. Renee would not be in attendance and I had told her I never wanted to see her again. , I remember the phone call perfectly.

"Mom?" I said my voice barely holding together

"Yes Bella I'm here What is it" there was a cold edge to her voice ajnd I knew she was still in denial over my rape I didn't care I needed her now

"Dad he died" I cried the words felt wrong like I shouldn't be able to say them like they shouldn't be true.

"Oh" I sniffled slightly confused but continued

"The funeral is next Friday." I told her

"Bella you can't expect me to be there, me and Charlie were divorced there no need for me to attend."

"But Mum I need you there" I said anger taking over from the grief

"Bella Phil needs me here plus you will have to come live here after so we need to make the most of our alone time we won't be able to do that for a little while."

"You make it sound like you don't want me there" my voice hurt

"Well Bella, I don't face it I was never very good at being a mother to you and you weren't the best daughter either you were never interested in anything I was we have nothing in common and when you decided to go live with your father you did me a huge favour."

"I won't be coming to live with you " I had thought I would have to fight tooth and nail to stay with the Cullen's I was still several months away from turning 18

"You won't?" her voice sounded hopeful Just then Esme entered the house she did a sign asking if I wanted here to leave I shook my head.

"No I will be staying with my boyfriends Family" I tried to keep my voice strong

"That Edmond boy hasn't he dumbed you yet" my chest tightened "but fine if it keeps you out my way" Esme's faces looked menacing her fists balled up "and I suppose as you won't be moving in with me I can come to the funeral."

"No… No Renee you are not welcome at dads funeral and I never want to see or here from you ever again goodbye." I hung up the phone and broke down falling to my knees Esme was there in a heartbeat she wrapped her arms round me in a motherly hug and held me while I cried.

Esme had explained to the others what had happened to which the boys had wanted to pay her a visit but I had told them it wasn't worth it Carlisle had come to me two days later and explained he had spoken to Renee and convinced her to sign full guardianship over to him and Esme I knew that it hadn't taken much but at least he didn't say it.

I dressed slowly in the new outfit Alice had laid out for me thankfully she had not gone over board and simply gone to the local mall to buy the black dress and shoes Carlisle had gone through what would happen today with me explaining that because the house was destroyed we would meet the coffin outside the police station and then be driven through the town and then to the church where he would be buried in the family plot. The wake was to be held in the town hall Esme had already taken all the food she had prepared there to which I understood there was a lot. I was going to be reading a poem I wrote as the eulogy many people would be reading and before we went to the graveyard there would be a final call for the chief of police.

"Bella?" I looked up at Rosalie her face soft "It's time" I nodded and took one last glance at myself in the mirror and took a deep breath.

The drive to the station was quiet I was in the Limo with Edward and Alice while the others were in Carlisle black Mercedes with the others I had Alice's hands in one hand and Edwards the in other willing myself to stay strong. When we reached the station all of my father's Deputies stood in their formal uniforms they would be carrying the coffin. I got out and was greeted by them the voices bl;ended together they were all sorry for my loss.

The hurse arrived flowers surrounded the coffin my father's hat and badge sat upon the coffin along with the forks police flag.

There was a moment where his deputies saluted the coffin and I was once more ushered into the limo. The drive to the church was slow the whole town seemed to be out and making their way to the church when we arrived we were greeted by Angela's father Angela was also there standing to the side I stood to the side and watched as my father's coffin was taken into the church and then I followed I sat in the front and looked up at the large framed photo of my Dad in his uniform I didn't want all this fuss but the police force had been such a part of his life how could I deny him their farewell. Rev. Webber said a few passages from the bible and then invited people up to speak I was grateful my father had been to church four times in his adult life one to be married two to christen me and then his parents funerals. Billy Black was rolled to the front of the church by the boy I recognised as Jake he had grown huge since I last st saw him when he returned to his seat I swear he threw the Cullen's a dirty look but maybe I was imagining it. When Billy was done saying his words it was my turn.

"do you want me to?" Edward asked I shook my head and stood everything seemed to go in slow motion it seemed an age between when I was sat and when I stood facing the congregation.

"My father was a good man he was a man of few words but when he spoke his words meant more I didn't think I could do this stand here and talk about him mainly because I didn't know him as well as I wanted to I thought I would have more time with him thought I would learn more so I wrote a poem for him.

I've wondered many times

What I would say

How I would say the words

On this saddened day

I thought about a memory

That I could tell the crowd

Maybe a deep thought

That I could say aloud

Or maybe of the laughter

That we used to share

Or tell everybody

How you were always there

I'm trying to figure out

All the reasons why

Why you had to leave

Why I have to say goodbye

I Know your with the angels

That your soul had to soar

but I would give nearly anything

To see you once more

And Sometimes it's hard to breath

When the tears start to flow

But then I remember

You told me all I need to know

You told me that when it happened

That everything would be ok

That you would be in a better place

So that's what I will say

But I will always miss you

And its truly not goodbye

Because as long as we remember you

You'll always be by our side."

I didn't say anything more and returned to my seat Angela who was behind me squeezed my shoulder "that was beautiful" She whispered in my ear Edward squeezed my hand as Rev. Webber approached the coffin and lay a radio onto it static filled the room as the police raised their radios and a voice rang out in the church

"Forks station calling Chief Charlie Swan" a pause as they waited "Chief Charlie swan come in" my heart felt like breaking "Last call for Chief Charlie Swan…gone but not forgotten may you rest in piece" I broke and allowed tears to spill from my eyes Edward passed me a handkerchief and I dried the tears knowing there was still more for me to do. We followed the coffin into the graveyard there were people outside waiting by the graveside and there was a row of chairs and i was directed to sit in the middle of the front row Rev. Webber said a few words and then it was the gun salute the each shot ripped through me each so loud and final and then they folded the flag and handed it to me along with his badge his number would be retired It was finally over I watched as the coffin was lowered and then threw some earth upon it one final passage from the bible was read and everyone began to leave towards the town hall.

"I need a minute" I said to Edward he nodded and left me at the graveside I took a few minutes when I was sure I was alone "Goodbye Daddy thank you for protecting me I love you." I allowed the tears this time and just as one fell to the ground the clouds opened up and a single ray of sunlight landed on my face it was there for only a few seconds before the clouds closed once more and I turned and left.

 **Hope you enjoyed the poem is one I wrote and read at my grandmother's funeral should be updating again next week.**


	14. Chapter 14

AN OK so I have decided Bella let Edward off a little easier than I originally wanted so I am going to change that a bit also Alice in the books can't see the wolves but I have changed that when the wolves are in human form she can see them clearly when in wolf she can still see them just not as clearly I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry it took so long.

The town hall was packed it looked like the entire town was in attendance, it occurred to me that most of them were I could clearly make out some people from the res Billy black was talking to one of my dads luitenants he looked over seeing me and after a few words to the other man he wheeled himself over to me.

"Bella," he sighed "I am so sorry for your loss" I saw the sadness in his eyes and I gave him a small nod unable to really speak. "I want younto know if you need anything you will always be welcome at the res" I heard the double meaning in his tone and then I remembered the tribe new what the Cullen's were.

"Thank you Billy but I am quite safe with the Cullen's even with what they are." I replied he nodded

"I see well as you are aware that we know what they are will you pass their leads a message for me?" I nodded in agreement "tell him that the pack would like a meeting tomorrow night at midnight" Billy wheeled away when I agreed to pass on the message iwas suddenly very glad that Billy had spoken to me his message had given my mind something to focus on by the way he had said pack. Many people came to give me the messages of sympathy thankfully the Cullen's played defence keeping anyone I didn't want to speak to away from me, this included the likes of Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory, Angela kept Jessica away. The word pack flew around in my mind I was sure I was missing something completely. I mulled over the stories I had been told by Jacob and it hit me hard the pack meant a pack of wolves I knew I would have to confirm my theory later and so I focused on getting through the rest of the day.

Eventually people began to leave I had given Carlisle the message and his face had become curious. I decided was ready leave and I wanted answers telling Edward I wanted to go home he informed the other's and only a fem minutes later we were all heading home.

"Would you like hot chocolate Bella?" Esme asked as we entered the house I nodded And gave her a grateful smile.

"Please" I went and sat down and was followed evreyone looked Concerned I had been distant throughout the wake. "Are the tribe werewolves?" I blurted out the look of shock crossed their faces Carlisle sighedbut finally nodded.

"Yes they are."

"Why do they want to meet you."

"Its likely that they wish to speak about the treaty." The confused look on my face urged Carlisle to continue "when we were here last here eighty years ago we ran into the wolves we thought they died out when the next generation hadn't changed but it seems we were wrong."

"Is Jacob a werewolf?" I had only caught a glimpse of him at the wake but he looked so large nearly as big as Emmett.

"I believe so I caught his scent and it was the scent of a werewolf" Carlisle replied

"Yes he was thinking about the pack aswell" for the next hour we talked about the pack and the treaty.

"So if you change me then that will start a war?." The look on their faces confirmed what I had said

"Bella when I discussed turning you and I promised I meant it the existence of the pack complicates things but I have no intention of breaking that promise" relief flooded me.

"I want to go with you to the meeting." I saw Carlisle open his mouth to speak but Edward spoke first

"No no way not going to happen!" He all but growled everyone turned to him I was sitting by him but turned my body to face him eyebrow raised "I am not going to allow Bella to be around some unpredictable teenage werwolves"

"Excuse me?" My voice calmer than I thought possible Edward looked at me his face slightly shocked "what gives you the right to make that decicion?" I could feel the anger building up inside me.

Edward POV

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth making decisions for Bella had been banned since I had returned and the look on her face was echoed by the thoughts of my family.

Son that is not your decicion . Carlisle's thoughts were the kindest

What the hell do you think you are doing Emmett thought jasper was also thinking the same both glaring at me, Rose was calling me all the names under the sun.

You've been warned Edward not to to that although Esme wasn't being harsh with her thoughts the tone of her thoughts were hard.

Well done Edward you were making such progress. I looked at Alice wanting to know what she meant but she was now blocking me.

"I just mean that the wolves are dangerous it wouldn't be safe for. you" I was trying to ease her anger but I only seemed to make it worse

"Edward although I appreciate that you care for Bella's safety you can not go round making decisions for her we thought you had learned that lesson." Carlisle tone was that of a father speaking to a disobedient child and I felt utterly ashamedand his thoughts told me we would be discussing it later. " let us discuss the meeting with the wolves" if I were you Edward I would keep quiet Bella is upset with you as is don't risk upsetting her more. I nodded to show that I understand. "Alice what can you see?"

"As you know when the wolves are in wolf form the visions can be fuzzy I can see clearly that when we meet the pack at the treaty line Sam and another boy I do not recognise will be in human form they want to discuss the treaty and something regarding Victoria but they keep changing their minds on how to broach the subject. The pack will be there but will all be visible they have no intention of attacking and if Bella is there Sam will order the wolves to back up a little." I watched the vision in her head and was surprised I was about to ask something when Carlisle spoke again

"Very well Bella as long as you feel up to it you will join us however Edward you will not" Carlisle told us I couldn't help but growl.

"What you can't expect me to let Bella go and meet the wolves without me"

"Let?" Bella hissed "you have no right to let do anything you are not my father or my boss you are meant to be my partner but you were unwilling to even consider what I wanted again!" I wanted to slap myself "obviously I let you off to easy its clear you learnt nothing until further notice you are not allowed to speak or touch me in any shape or form if you wish to tell me something you will have to from and someone else to give me the message if you attempt to force me to speak to you I will take up Billy's offer and go stay on the res where I know you are not allowed and will stay there until I am convinced you have learnt that I am not someone to be controlled and have choices made for me." With her rant over she turned away from me I was about to reach out at make her face me when Alice's thoughts kept me from doing so.

I wouldn't she is serious about going to the res and you wouldn't see her for nearly two months if you give her time and do as she has said she will start talking to you in just over a week although you are going to be spending your nights alone for a while.

" OK now that that is sorted I think we can go about our night Edward a word." Carlisle left the room and his tone didn't give me much choice but to follow.

Bella POV

"Good job bella " Jasper said coming and sitting next to me he patted my arm and I gave him a small smile i was doubting if I had done the right thing I had spoken out of anger and now I wasn't sure

"Bella trust me if you go back now in a few weeks hell be making the same mistake it will only be on something small but that will lead to bigger ones hold out with not speaking to him for a few days maybe even a week and then let him sweat with the no touching and he won't be making the mistake of making choices for you for a very long time" I smiled at Alice reassured by her words.

" want is to beat him up for you Bells" Emmet asked pitching his fist into his palm I laughed but shook my head to which he pouted "if you change your mind I was about to ask something else when Alice answered it.

" dont worry Bella you won't wake up alone one of us will be there for you and Edward will take to sitting just inside your room and then next to the bed when you start talking to him again." I nodded grateful although I didn't have many nightmares anymore I was still scared of waking up alone terrified that I would find myself abandoned again.

"Come on Bella shall we watch a movie?" I nodded grateful for the distraction.

Hope you all enjoyed


	15. Chapter 15

Carlisle POV

I walked at a human pace towards my office Edward trailing behind me I was dissapointed to say the least we had all assumed that he had learnt his lessons regarding Bella but as it turns out we were all wrong. There was not much I could do to punish Edward at least nothing Bella hadn't already thought of being unable touch or even speak to her would be utter torture for him.

"Have a seat Edward" I pointed to the chair in front of my desk he sat down looking like a small child And for the briefest of moments I reconsidered reprimanding him but then remembered that I had gone easy on him when he had returned in not doing half the things that had been considered. "Care to explain yourself?" I asked keeping my tone colder than normal.

"I can't" he ran his hand through his hair sighed "I just can't seem to get anything right espically when it comes to Bella I only want to do what's right for her give her everything she deserves I've made so many mistakes with her and sometimes I think she would just be better off without me." He pinched the bridge of his nose

"Edward with a lack of anything better to say you need to get over it!" His head shot up so he could look me in the eyes "we all want what is best for our mates all want to give them everything they want and deserve but here's the thing its impossible even for vampires for example Rose the one thing she would do anything for is to be mortal to have children to grow old, Emmett would do it for her if he could but he knows there is no way to do that do you see him moping about taking it out on himself" Edward shook his head.

"But Bella is human!" He all but growled "how can I be OK with that being taken away from her"

"Because it is her choice, Edward she loves you as much as you love her and you completely underestimate that love, don't deny it you proved that when you decided we should all leave. Bella deserves to make her own choices she may be human but that does not mean her opinion is any less important when in fact when it comes to her own life it is the most important. Do you think for a second if I wasn't sure that this is what Bella wanted I would ever of agree." He lowered his head "you of all people know how I value human life "

"But if me and Bella weren't together it would be different."

"If you were not together say if she had decided not to take you back I would still agree to turn her if she wanted it you seem to neglect the fact that she is much a daughter to me and Esme as you and the others are our children she is as much a sister to the others as you are a brother, but if you are talking about before you got together if you had some how managed to stay away it is unlikely she would be alive today how many times did you save her life in those first few months." He looked back up at me "and don't think I don't know about your contingency plans so not only were you willing to let Bella die but you intended to follow me and Esme would have lost two children not just one." I couldn't help the words turn into a slight growl Edward looked surprised and remorseful "I love you son but your actions of late have been exstreamly selfish I hope to see better judgement from you in the future. Understand Edward running away is never the answer and you need to stop wallowing it does no one any good."

"I owe everyone a huge apology and I promise I will make better choices..." I raised my hand

"That's the problem Edward your choices how about you let other people make the choices intact that gives me an idea," his eyes grew wide for a second obviously reading my mind "for the next month you are not allowed to make any choices at all you will be told what you can and can not do by the members of the family you must follow these choices without complaint."

"But Carlisle you can't expect me..." Once again I cut him off

"Edward you made a choice for Bella that cause her nothing but pain she had no options in the matter you took that away therefore I feel you need a taste of your own medicine." He sighed obviously trying to find a loop hole "and if you do not follow the choices there will be punishments" I could already hear the others downstairs talking about how much fun they were going to have "now you need to go on a hunt I expect you back by no later than 2am" he hesitated then nodded and departed through the window. Truth was I was sending him hunting so I could give the others some ground rules on what they could and could not make Edward do.

AN so very short chapter hope you enjoyed anyone who have any ideas on what choices could be made for Edward feel free to let me know.


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